There are distinct and unspoken rules about tea in England. Tea has been served for centuries here, often multiple times a day. It is simple, straightforward and relaxing. If you're an outsider to the tradition, enjoy the ritual as-is.
- It will be offered to you upon arrival at someone's house.
- Say, "Yes, please. That sounds lovely." unless for some reason you are in a hurry in which case something apologetic like "I'd love to but I'm sorry that I am on my way to get my kidneys removed" would be acceptable. Don't ask what type of tea. There is only one kind. (Herbal "tea" = not tea)
- Your tea will be brewed by your host. Do not micromanage.
- Your tea will come with milk. From a cow. Lactose intolerance doesn't exist in this country. (No cow's milk in "tea" = not tea)
- You might be offered sugar. Say "No, thank you".
- Corollary to #5. If another person (well-ensconced British person only) takes sugar with their tea, you could instead say "Yes, please."
- If participating in #6, only take a small amount of sugar. (Sugar = not tea unless corollary applies; large amounts of sugar = not tea)
- You may be offered something called "a biscuit". Think cookie, not KFC.
- Do not take more than one biscuit unless offered.
- Drink, relax and enjoy the conversation.
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