Remembrance Day

Photo of Remembrance Day by John

Today, 11/11, is Remembrance Day in the UK.  It is a day in tribute to those who have fought and died in war since World War I.  The war officially ended on 11/11 at 11am.

Since the start of November, people have been wearing poppies on their lapel as a symbol of remembrance.  As Michael tells me:

"Soldiers in the war destroyed the fields and kicked the seeds around.  And then poppies started growing after the war."

The poppies are usually made of paper and are quite visible in the distance.  Most people wear them from what I've observed. John got one for me at Tesco, and Anna was really keen on having a poppy too, so Grandma and Grandpa got some for the kids too.  They were also selling poppies at the school so it is common for children to also take part in Remembrance Day.

The War Memorial - photo taken by Michael in Sept.

This morning, John and I walked up to the War Memorial just behind the kids' school, directly across from the Dee View Inn.  It was a crisp morning but the sun shone brightly and the River Dee was picturesque off in the distance.  We stood just behind a crowd of families and a few men in berets.  The older man in front of us held a poppy wreath with a yin yang and something about the Korean War.  At 11am, a firework went off in the distance, traffic stopped and everyone stood still for the two minute moment of silence.  The couple veterans I could see were standing still yet to attention.  It was simple yet very moving.  Two minutes later, another distant firework went off and traffic started again.  It appeared that a wreath laying procession was about to start, but we headed back down the hill, reflecting upon what we saw.

It is amazing to think that people have been gathering in that spot on 11/11 since the end of World War I.  The continuity is very comforting to not only veterans and their families but to the general public.  Veterans Day in America is also celebrated today with a focus on the war veterans.  Perhaps Memorial Day is more similar to Remembrance Day.  I enjoyed seeing a few friends' Facebook posts about Veterans Day in America and couldn't help but think of how Remembrance Day is more widely integrated into the British culture.  The historical lineage, the tangibility, the poppy as a symbol dedicated to remembrance probably play are role.

Anna's prayer she made up this evening (this child loves her Church of England education):

"Hands together, eyes closed.  Dear God: Thank you for the soldiers who served in war and died.  And thank you for delivering us from dying on the cross and delivering us from evil.  Amen."

(I continue to be amazed by how much the kids have grown and been shaped by our experiences here.)

Wasteless Culture: Where are the napkins, and will you please finish up your lunch?

As much as I love America, it is admittedly a wasteful culture, particularly when contrasted with UK living.  Relatively speaking, the UK is a wasteless culture.  Some examples of consumer products based on my narrow window of observation:

• Napkins are typically specialty items and cannot be purchased in large bundles at Tesco; napkins and condiments are usually handed to you at restaurants upon asking rather than serve yourself.
• Paper towels (a.k.a. kitchen roll) are much smaller.
• Paper plates and cups are not readily available and not typically used unless at a barbecue; we've also had our fair share of hot dogs and burgers (and crepes in Paris!) handed to us on a napkin without a plate.
• Fewer options in cling film, foil, tupperware-type storage.
• No plastic bags (or few) to put meat in at the grocery store.  (The packaging is more secure.)
• You bag your own groceries so you are made aware of how many plastic bags you use; most people seem to have reusable bags.
• Pre-packaged produce is modestly sized.
• Cookies (a.k.a. biscuits) are often packaged in strips (one row) rather than boxes (multiple rows) or bags.
• Juice is commonly sold in the thin carton rather than the wider one.
• Eggs are most commonly sold in 6's instead of 12's.
• Due to smaller storage space, we tend to just buy what we need. 
• We have one garbage bin and it is collected every 2 weeks, so you must be conservative in throwing things away.
• Recycling is really easy; we have one garbage can for all recycling.
• Smaller food portion size in restaurants, and no doggie bags to take food home (that is literally a foreign concept).
• Cultural value of "finishing up" one's meal.

Look at this standard bag of chocolate chips--smaller than a tea box!

Related to the latter, Anna exasperatingly told me one day that I put too much food in her lunch box everyday.  Apparently, she saw a couple kids get reprimanded for not finishing their lunches.  It never occurred to me that finishing one's lunch was important.  I have such a different cultural referent-- kids can stop eating when they are full, give them choice, leftovers are no problem.  But I can see how in the British culture, the value of not being wasteful, the cultural experience of rationing, and the continuity of tradition over time, this makes sense.  

Right or wrong, I've started packing smaller lunches for Anna as a way of coping.  In fact, one day, Anna was spotted by a teacher for finishing her lunch and as a result, earned a "Lunchtime Superstar" sticker.  The child was delighted.

WWI sign posted on Facebook

The UK also has its version of plenty in consumer products.  Whereas Wegmans in PA has loads more paper products and bigger product sizes, in my observation, Tesco has more shelf space devoted to certain products for which there is greater consumption:

• Prepackaged yogurt types and varieties
• Refrigerated foods (these are amazing)
• Beer and wine (which isn't even sold in PA grocery stores)
• Biscuit and cake varieties

Bonfire Night

Our friends from Harrogate (we met on our last sabbatical!) to visit us this past weekend.  We went to Bonfire Night at St. Peter's Primary, and enjoyed Chester Zoo earlier in the day.  Bonfire Night celebrates the foiled plans to blow up Parliament that were led by Guy Fawkes.  There was even an effigy on the bonfire to represent him!

The school playground was converted into a celebratory carnival atmosphere.  The grass area was set up with the bonfire and rows of fireworks.  The whole thing was spectacular as we stood there watching the massive fire and the fireworks set off by men in hard hats on the school playing fields.  Every once in a while, you could feel the dust and shrapnel, occasionally needing to blink to clear your eyes.  I couldn't help but think this wouldn't pass muster in America.  I was glad we could experience such revelry here in England.

The Bonfire

Looking festive

Amazing fireworks display

Chester Zoo

Halloween in England

Happy Halloween!  I've been asking mums at the school about whether Halloween is a "thing" here.  Stores do have small sections of costumes, candy, etc but nowhere near the grand scale in the US.  If you ever walk through Target in October, it's a huge section of the store.  Halloween is considered an American occasion and quite a "new" thing to do.  Trick or treating is pretty minimal and might be coordinated among a neighborhood.  

I didn't buy any candy this year, anticipating no knocks on the door.  However, while in the kitchen, I looked over to see a painted face peering through the panes of our front door, presumably to see if they could knock.  I nearly jumped out of my skin.  John and Anna went to answer the door; a group of maybe 12 year old girls stood there in white faces and pajamas, very politely saying "trick or treat".  I rummaged around and materialized a big multi-pack of Quavers.  Thank goodness for buying in bulk.

London

From Paris, we took the Chunnel to London.  Two things memorable about that journey: seeing a lady from Indianapolis excitedly show a Parisian passenger her Hard Rock Cafe Paris teddy bear (cringe), and the kids' giddy excitement crawling into a spacious black London taxi cab.  I think Michael wanted to live in the cab.  Anna liked that she could freely get on her knees and look out the back at the world trundling along behind us.  Every London taxi we took was really nice.  I'd later heard that they are only allowed on the road for 15 years.  Good idea.

Here are a few photos from our trip to London where we saw the sights and caught up with old friends.

London Eye

Jubilee Gardens, which the Queen opened that day

Bus tour in the rain

Picadilly Circus with our friends from home

Buckingham Palace!

Michael took photos (good thing, since I couldn't see a thing)

Doing lunch at Fortnum & Mason with our London friends

We love the London Transport Museum (Michael falling off a bus)

Heading to our friends' house in Primrose Hill

John & Chuck D at Natural History Museum

Michael reunites with the T-Rex at Natural History Museum,  7 years later

V&A Museum

Being held up at the Tower of London

Bonjour Mona Lisa

The kids were excited to see the Mona Lisa, as she had been a hot topic in Michael's kindergarten class a couple years ago.  The Mona Lisa is embedded deep into the Louvre, but there is great signage guiding you through the labyrinth.  The kids hunted for signs, and before too long, Michael was bouncing up and down behind a crowd of tourists gathered around the painting.  He took a lot of photos, and we finally managed to ease our way up to the front.  It is one experience I will never forget.

"It's this way!"

Excited to be here!

"Hooray!!"

"What is that painting about?"

A lovely dinner at Le Petit Cler with my friends from Chicago

Dear Mr. Dumpy

Michael has had some really interesting literacy-based homework assignments.  His first one was to write a letter from one fairy tale character to another.  After a bit of thought, here's what he came up with:

1 Palace Lane
King City
KI22 1NG

Dear Mr. Dumpty,
I am sorry we did not come soon enough when you had your fall.  You are offered insurance money.  We are giving you a new shell.  The insurance money is £90.

Sincerely, 
The King

I really liked this letter, as did his teacher.  I like the level of creativity and out of the box thinking required of their work.

His next literacy assignment was to design an ad for World War II, to persuade people to help in some way with the war effort.  I was eager to completely take over this assignment (I teach advertising to college students, after all), but it turns out that Michael's teacher gave them some great direction in terms of what ads of the time looked like and Michael himself had some great ideas.  He belted out a rhyming slogan and even started marching to it at home.

Michael's World War II persuasive ad

Eiffel Tower

We all loved the Eiffel Tower.  We walked by it everyday en route from our hotel to the hop-on hop-off tour bus stop.  Michael kept taking pictures in excitement; it was so great.  We had lift tickets to the top, yay!  But it was foggy the day we went up, boo!  No matter, we had a grand time being there.  The second floor is being remodeled into more of a destination with shopping, food, entertainment.  We will be back, I'm sure.

First glimpses of the Eiffel Tower.  "Look, there it is!"

One of Michael's photos

Thank you for not making me taking the stairs this time

Yay, we made it!

Fog shmog

The Arc de TriOOMPHe

We love the Arc de Triomphe from a distance.  We love the way it looks; we love the carvings on it; we love the meaning that it holds.  But overall, we had a terrible time.  After queueing and paying, you find that you've queued and paid for a 284 step climb, most of it spiral and narrow, and once you start, you are committed.  There are people in front of you and people behind you.  It was hot, the kids were tired.  John also had the misfortune of carrying all our coats in an overloaded bag.  

Finally, we lumbered to the top, sweaty and out of breath.  It was very bright.  The view was breathtaking.  For about 4 seconds.  

Because we were attacked by gnats.  They bounced off our eyelashes, twisted around in our hair, dive bombed at our ears, pecked at us from head to toe.  If you could blink open your eyes, you could see people all around swatting and dodging while desperately trying to take one decent photo. 

At the end, we spiraled back down the stairs.  Parched and exhausted, we tried to drown our sorrows in a cafe nearby, but we never got served.  That was a low point.

Looks great from the outside. Anna likes the pebbles on the ground.

The ascent.

What you feel like on the ascent.

I'm amazed you can't see the gnats in this photo.

(P.S.  Don't tell me about the elevator.  Heard about that later.)

Being Sensible

A big part of English culture is the concept of being sensible.  The kids and I were invited over for an after-school playdate, and the I liked how the mom/mum reminded her kids to "be sensible" while playing.  I've heard this phrase repeated at school, in the village, on TV...  It's a phrase that we don't use much in the States.

Being sensible is an internalized idea.  It is about having sound judgment, using reason, and simply making the "right", principled decision.  The right decision is principled, so taking into account not just yourself but the greater good.  You must be perceptive and intuitive.

I think that an American parent would tend to say, "Are you making the right decision?"  That phrasing feels different to me, perhaps because it seems more proactive and conscious reasoning/thinking, a certain level of being rational and logical.  It also somehow gives the child a sense of control and self-importance.

I see this subtle difference play out in the media.  I recently heard a sad news report on BBC Radio 4 of a mother who murdered her two young children.  Because she was diagnosed with post-partum depression, she was charged with "diminished responsibility" and the murder charges were dropped.  Around the same time, there was an article on CNN about a similar situation in the US with murder charges pending.  The handling of these two cases is very British/sensible in the first case and American/rational in the second.  If you step back and look at the evidence, it is sensible to drop the charges.  However, if you are hard and fast rule abiding, the logical decision is jail time.

In September, I was also struck by an interview on BBC of a cyclist who witnessed a shooting in France. The shooting had only happened a day earlier, and the witness was allowed to tell his full story to the media.  The witness talked openly about how he reacted at the scene, what he did and should have done, etc.  He obviously had no fear of implicating himself, being sued for saying too much or misleading the audience.  The interviewer was very encouraging of how the cyclist handled the situation; there was a lot of trust that he did what he felt was right at the time and he empathized with him.  The interviewer also did not use words like "alleged".

I find it very interesting that people are viewed as almost more "human" here.  Hard lined rules are no match for sensibility.

Door-to-Door Fish Salesman

Today, the kids and I were in the backgarden (which is actually our front garden though we never go in that way) when a man came through the gate saying he was selling fish and would I like to buy some.  Puzzled and slightly bewildered, I said, "No, thank you.  Do you come by often to sell fish?"  He said every two months or so.  I asked for a leaflet and got a photocopied list of the fish he sells.  After he left, I called John's mom to make sure he wasn't coming around to steal our VCR.  She doesn't buy from door-to-door salespeople but has heard of it.  We talked about how you don't really know the quality of the fish, how old it is, etc.  Are there health and safety regulations and quality controls they must abide by?  Are they a registered business?  It seems kind of like an ad-hoc business to me.  Do they have regular customers?  This all just struck me as unusual.

Italy

One of the benefits of living in England is European travel.  My childhood friend Grace and I had a fabulous time in Italy (Rome, Florence and Cinque Terre).  It was great catching up and traveling together.  We had lots of gelato, tried a few belinis, saw the sights (Trevi Fountain, The Duomo, La Farmacia Santa Maria Novella, piazzas) and shopped.  Grace was an expert at finding good restaurants on her iPad, and I never met a porcini mushroom I didn't want to try.

Cinque Terre was gorgeous

Doorway at Florence aparthotel

Our Room with a View (in Florence)

Ponte Vecchio sunset

Best gelato ever

Fried fish was amazing